The Psychopathology phenomenon

 In this day and age it's almost impossible to lock ourselves away from what seems like the prehistoric diagnoses of depression, anxiety, etc. etc.
Yet what really are such 'illnesses', I'm not going to pretend I know everything because I don't, I've missed out on a lot of my life, my childhood, my schooling, and yet even know at 17 years old I'm being told to guzzle down some sugar coated pill shaped bundles of lies and get on with it. Although fairly relaxed I'm far from a hardy person. Instead I'll just sit and cry, or over think. I hate the term procrastinate, overused my hipsters and bitches I wish to strangle.
 However does anyone actually know what is wrong with us?
I'm not depressed. I have manic depression.
I'm dangerous, I'm horrible and most of all I'm useless.
I wouldn't say I've been through a lot, I'm extremely numb now anyway

How to deal with a suicidal ex

Life isn't always what we plan, sometimes we take u turns, sometimes we get lost, other times we just deify every rule we put for ourselves.
I broke up with my boyfriend.
No big deal for me, but him, well I'll just say he pulled a fast one on me.
Threatening suicide, he kept me up all night whilst he had a hospital stay, but I'd be lying if I said I cared, I mean of course I care, but I don't feel hurt.
Just empty.
He's left my life, after a stern block on the old book of face. I finally feel liberated.
But hey look what's around this corner
Exams
E
X
A
M
S
I'm not prepared, not even revised
Here's to the end of my life, three cheers for mol-irradictation

Forgive only yourself

I'll never understand people, and perhaps that's my own doing.
Ever laid alone at night wondering if you're a good person?, I do, a lot. I'm not a BAD PERSON, you know the type who hurts others, bullies, murderers, pedophiles. Those sort of people. Yet I'm not a good person either, I don't go out my own way to talk to others, I don't say sorry unless I really mean it, I don't keep in touch, I don't start a conversation, I'm not a good person. I'm in limbo. I've certainly lied and cheated in my time, stole a few things, laughed at a few misfortunes, spat nasty words, but does that make me a bad person?
If someone hurts me I do either one of two things

1) I shut myself out to them, don't talk, don't even attempt to make contact, I erase them from my conscious mind and life

2) I'll ponder on what I did, I'll ask every question possible, I'll demand a answer. But I don't ask them, I ask myself. A knee deep discussion with myself and moi.


I have a few friends who have been badly hurt, I don't pity their pain, more their stupidity.
I would never forgive a back stabber, a pain causes, a betrayer
I will never forgive the betrayer

The real question is, is that normal? Perhaps not you'll say, to me, yes.
You see I'm terrified of rejection, all my childhood I knew I was different, I had a fire in me, something which left me wanting more, a high ego met with the chimes and taunts of pre puberty children. 'Kids are cruel' they told me. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know why I act the way I do, I don't really think there is a root cause. I wouldn't say I'm miserable. I'm a realist, I see things as they really are, not everything makes me sad, but not everything makes me happy either.

I could never forgive, people say it's tiring holding grudges, I don't believe I'm holding grudges, in fact is is beyond easy to not let back into your life something which will only destroy you more.

Keep yourself save, keep yourself protected.

The title is a lie

The year is 2015, and yet far from what the creators of 'Back to th Future' imagined for us. No hover boards or quirky outfits, just stuck up snobs and 'swag fags'. I, myself am a social reject, a freak, a weirdo, and some how I'm okay with that. Ironically I guess you could say I'm not really a 21st century teenager, born in the yester-year of 1998, does that mean am I 90's kid too?. The world has honestly gone completely bonkers, and just 3 days away from my 17th birthday I often question my own existence. I'm not pretty or intelligent, funny or kind hearted, I'm a socially awkward 5ft 7 brown haired 'rock child'; who's bestfriends are an iPad mini and McDonalds' 99p cheese burgers. I have little friends and perhaps that's because I choose tranquility over boring stereotypical 'peers'. I've not always been like this, only since I hit my 14th birthday, I felt a burdan and instead of engaging in conversation I simply listened, eventually I stopped listening and became irrelevant, as irrelevant as Motorolla in the current tech battles, I blended into my sheepish purple school uniform. I stopped existing. Like over 40% of British teenagers, school was excushiatingly painful. A target for bullies, I kept my mouth shut, I only really survived school because of my irrelevance, "anyone not here today?" "Only Mollie, miss".
At 16 years old, on a Saturday night, I once again find myself alone in my room, tucking into an extra large bag of tangy Doritos. Although don't pity me, I chose this life right? Well... No exactly.
An A level student, I'm absolutely hating it, the lessons are drab, the teachers just as worse. I started as an naïve little nipper, quick to learn. However everything around began to once again collapse beneath my feet. Stability is something we all take for granted, me, I can't say I've ever felt it.
Wandering around on my own account is where you'll often find me, marching to the best of my own drum, some may say. I prefer the term of 'lone wolf', allows me to feel some what empowered by my unusual situation.
Unusual for you, every day to me. So what really is the point of our existence? To be told how to look and act by the cool kids.
'Nah mate fuck that'
Be yourself, no matter how different you are, how you prefer to spend your time, who you prefer to talk to. After all, we all came out a vagina.